Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Insanity Workout? Me in a Bikini? Clearly, I've Lost It

I shared my writing resolution with you for this year, but what I didn't tell you is that I made yet another resolution to lose weight and get in shape. I know, I know...not again. I have struggled with my weight my whole life, and I can't tell you how much money I have wasted on diets and exercise plans.

So how would this time be any different? That was my challenge. I was chatting with a friend on Facebook, and he said that the reason most people fail at weight loss (or other resolutions/goals with yourself) is that there are no consequences if you fail. If you don't lose weight, you just continue you on the way you are. No harm, no foul.

As a behavior analyst, this made sense to me. Obviously I'm not very good at changing my own behavior for an extended period of time, and maybe a negative consequence might be just the thing to motivate me (I've already tried promising myself good stuff - didn't work). 

I gave it some thought, and told my Facebook friend that I would make myself wear a bikini this summer. If I lost the weight I wanted to and kept working out, I would look nice. If not...well... He thought that was a good start, but pointed out that I would be around family and friends, which might not be enough public humiliation to keep me honest. He upped the ante by challenging me to post a picture of me in my bikini on Facebook.

That gave me pause. If I failed, would I really post a blobby pic of me muffining out of a bikini on the internet for all to see? After some discussion, I finally agreed. He finished the conversation by simply saying "Done." That one word gave me the impression I had just made a pact with the devil.

He was right though. That deal has made me crazy obsessed with sticking to my diet. I was already in the gym four to five days a week with the kids for their P.E. requirement for home school, so I just had to add in the diet part. How tough could it be? Pretty damn tough apparently. While I'm not old, I'm not exactly young, so my body is hanging on to every ounce despite a strict diet. I knew I would need something more intense (translation: desperate). 

Enter the Insanity Workout infomercial late one night when I couldn't sleep. Even though I had sworn not to spend money on stupid gimmicks, it seemed to be the answer I was looking for, pushing me to burn extra calories, and whipping my body into bikini shape.  

I knew I was in trouble when I had a hard time making it through the fitness test yesterday. Today was the first real workout, and I was sucking wind during the warm up phase. Not good. Thank God I had been going to the gym since August, or I might likely have keeled over. There were incredibly toned men half my age literally crawling for their water bottles during the short breaks. I thought "Insanity" referred to the intensity of the workout. What it really means is: If you aren't a personal trainer, aerobics instructor, or professional athlete, you have to be out of your damned mind to do this.

Normal people don't jump like this without a trampoline. 
It isn't natural.

I made it through the first day. It wasn't pretty, but I survived. However, I forgot to figure in my other gym commitments. I talked my husband into joining the gym this month. I told him that I would go with him in the evenings when he got home from work and on weekends. Add that to taking the kids every morning during the week. Not so bad, but then I added in the Insanity Workout. Perhaps I didn't really think this through. I'm going to have to pace myself. The thought of working out once a day is daunting, much less three times. I don't want to end up looking like this in my bikini:

Not sure this is a chick. Could just be a dude on steroids 
with shrunken junk and impressive pecs.

Thanks to months at the gym, I'm not as sore as I would have been, and I'm seeing the reappearance of muscles I forgot I had. I'm going to try and stick with it. No pain, no gain, right? Stay tuned :)


  1. OMG!!!! I'm seriously crying, I'm laughing so hard! Pace yourself girl! I'd love to know what you think of Insanity. I've been thinking about getting it for about two years now, but have heard a lot of negative things with people having knee and/or back issues because of the high intensity and high impact on their joints.
    I struggle with weight too, and I'm on steroids for my asthma so I'm fairly certain I'll always struggle with weight. I really REALLY hope you don't wind up looking like the pink bikini person. lol. That would be bad. I think I'd rather have the muffin top. ;) Good Luck!!!

    1. Bwahahaha! I'd rather have muffin top too!

      Ok, truth be told, I didn't jump as high as those people on the video. And I didn't really get high enough to kick my own butt on the butt kicks, so you could say I was only mildly insane. I think if you are smart and work at your own level, pushing yourself a little, it could work. I will let you know!

  2. If you end up looking like that guy-chick? in the pink bikini - forfeit the deal. If you continue with the insanity workout we may have to start calling you Michael instead of Michelle.

    1. Bwahahahaha! I don't think I even have that many muscles! :D

  3. Wishing you every success with your excercise routine. I have seen the Insanity workouts advertised on the tv before, so I know what you mean. They are pretty intense, but will certainly work your muscles. There are some who believe that you don't always have to spend two hours in the gym to excercise. Some believe that if you really work hard at your training for say 15 minutes to half an hour, you can still get the benefit from it. I once heard it was similar with weight training. Sometimes it is the first set of reps, which rip the muscle. After that, you are just taking pain. So, that is why they mention about lifting a higher weight for a shorter amount of reps. So, you work the muscle, but also don't injury yourself. I am sure you will succeed, and I am glad you are including your husband with the working out in the gym. It helps to have someone to support you. Look forward to hearing your progress in the not too distant future. Have a fun Weekend! Much Love Paul OXOXOXOXO

  4. Good for you, my dear friend. That's so awesome. I have made it a goal for me to get in better shape, too. It is so important to me that I often do 60-90 minutes nearly every day. Sadly, I end up ignoring social networking in order to do it. However, at nearly 44, I refuse to lose this battle...
    Hey, wait! We're not wearing swim wear in Dallas are we? Yikes! I'm not sure anyone wants to see me like that! ;)