So when I wrote to my fellow authors on Facebook and told them that I had finally conquered the blog, for some reason it never occurred to me that anyone would actually want to read it. When I received some gentle prompting from a fellow author to post it (thank you Sean!), I froze. I immediately started making apologies and feeling bad that people were going to have to read my writing. I posted it and curled up in the fetal position waiting for a beat down that never came.
Where did that reaction come from? That is so not me. I am a confident person. Apologizing and cowering are not my style. Why would I fear letting people who have been nothing but supportive to me read my work? Duh, maybe I should read my own previous post. That blog post was the first thing that I have written and shared with others since college except for my book. I had no idea the intense criticism from college still had such an effect on me. It wasn’t just me though. The professors took great delight in letting all of the students know that we would never be (insert famous author here). As a result, we became competitive, and began to criticize each other in peer reviews. It makes me wonder how many other potential authors they damaged with their pompous douche bag routine.
So I want to apologize to my BNFFs for my apologies, if that makes any sense. I am not used to the support and encouragement you have all shown me. I like it, but I’m not used to it. I promise from now on, I will write, and I will post, and I will not make apologies for it. Unless it really does suck. Just kidding ;) Love you guys!
I think the reason we writers get all misty-eyed and afraid when we write something that someone else is actually going to read is because we're putting our must intimate, vulnerable selves out there.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree. It can be a scary thing putting your thoughts out for the world to see.
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