Disneyland: Happiest Frickin' Place on Earth

         This is part two in blog series of road trip nightmares about our trip to Disneyland. See the prior blog for part one.

We finally made it to the RV park in the Chugabug and tried our best to get some sleep, but we were so excited. My kids were finally old enough to really enjoy Disneyland and tall enough to ride most of the rides. This was going to be great.

            We got up early and walked down several hotels to catch the Disneyland shuttle. We arrived a little early, so we decided to walk back across the street and eat breakfast at IHOP. We barely made it out when the heavens unleashed and rain poured down in buckets. We ran for the closest hotel and took shelter under the entrance. We were sure the rain would pass.

After about 5 minutes, we noticed other brave souls making a run for it. We decided to do the same. Off we went running when the light turned green. About halfway across the road, my Walmart thongs turned into slip and slides, and I couldn’t keep them on my feet to save my life.  I finally had to take them off and run across the street bare foot. By the time we made it to California Adventure, we were soaked. We ran into the first store and bought our $500.00 Mickey rain ponchos. Once covered, we were ready to ride some rides. We weren’t going to let a little rain ruin our day.

We had on our expensive plastic covers for all of about 5 minutes before the rain stopped. Ok, live and learn. At least we would be prepared if it started again. Now for some rides. We noticed nothing was working. We asked a cast member what was going on. Apparently, during the thunderstorm lightning struck the lake near California Screaming. The park was not going to open the rides until the storm passed, so we were going to have to walk around soaking wet staring at all the rides we couldn’t ride.

We hopped over to Disneyland. My normally cooperative daughter somehow got it in her head that she wasn’t going to ride “baby rides,” so Fanstasyland was out of the question. Then she decided that the adult rides were too scary which pretty much left us with nothing.

As the heat started to increase, my patience started to decrease. I was counting to 10 again trying to explain to the kids that Pirates of the Carribbean was not scary when I noticed something: other parents were having the same issues. I saw a woman yank a stroller away from her husband and cuss at him. I saw another kid crying because his parents wouldn’t buy him a $200.00 churro. All around me people were falling apart. Why hadn’t I ever noticed this before when I went to Disneyland? I had been under Mickey’s spell.

“Are you seeing what I’m seeing?” I asked Shelbi.

 “Yeah, Disneyland, happiest frickin’ place on earth.”

I tried to be a little less uptight about our schedule and we made it to the fireworks and Fantasmic in one piece. We were able to stake out a primo spot for viewing. Then we heard the announcement that they were going to have to cancel the fireworks due to the weather. Sigh. At least we had Fantasmic.

That’s when my son lost his mind. He threw some crazy tantrum and then passed out cold. He was done. After Fantasmic we decided to call it a day. My son would not wake up. He was in the deep, comatose sleep normally reserved for princesses who eat poison apples. I picked him up and put him on my back piggy back style. Luckily, I know all of the Disneyland shortcuts. We were going to take the train right there in New Orleans Square around to the front of the park where we could walk to the shuttle. No problem.

We got to the station just as a train was leaving. We sat and waited for the next one. The station at New Orleans Square has a recording of Morse Code that plays constantly and it started to get on my nerves. They longer we were there, the closer we got to missing the last shuttle back to the hotel and we would have to walk over a mile back to the RV park.

We finally realized the Morse Code message was saying that we were screwed because there were no more trains coming. I hefted my son up on my back and we started the long trek back to the front of the park.

We made it just in time for the last shuttle. Unfortunately, it was every man for himself and we quickly got shoved out of the way. Disneyland is not known for considerate people. Shelbi got mad and shoved her way in holding out her arms to block people so we could get on.

Safe. We sat back and were able to get back to the RV. All I could think about was taking a shower on my slimey thongs and going to bed.

Next up: The trip home or The Hills Have Eyes 4.