Eminem and Crazy Chicken

The other day, I was coming home from work, and I was feeling a little grumpy. I had my husband's car, so I decided to take advantage of his incredible sound system to help cheer myself up on the way home. I put on an Eminem CD. Now that's not what I listen to normally, but when I'm in a bad mood, he cheers me up. His cuss filled rants make me giggle. I know that's probably not what he had planned, but I can't help it. I know that no matter how mad I get, I'll never be Eminem mad.

When I got on the freeway, I turned the music up so loud that the rear view mirror was vibrating, and my heartbeat actually changed to match the beat. I was giggling and bopping along to Eminem's potty mouth lyrics when the blue tooth interrupted with a phone call from my hubby, cutting the music off. I told him he interrupted my concert, but he was on a mission. He was really angry and had a cuss filled rant of his own ready. Apparently, some truck driver had almost crushed him on his way home from work, and he wanted to give me the exact details filled with some colorful wording.

I had worked later than I had planned, so I had decided to stop by Pollo Loco on the way home to pick up some food for the family. I figured the call would be over by then, but Hubby was still ranting on and on about the truck driver. His anger was still in full force when I pulled off the freeway and made my way to the drive through at Pollo Loco. I thought that he would be finished cussing by the time I got to the speaker to order, but I was wrong. I started trying to cut in as I inched closer to order. It went something like this...

         

Me: "Honey"

Hubby: "Bleeping bleep truck driver was looking at his bleeping phone. Bleeping look where you're driving in your bleeping bleepity bleep 18 bleeping wheeler, you bleeper!!"

Me: "Honey I'm trying to order food. You have to stop. Honey. Honey!!"

Pollo Loco lady: "Welcome to Pollo Loco. Can I take your order?"

Me: "STOP TALKING!"

Pollo Loco lady: "I'm sorry. Just order when you're ready."

Me: "Not you Pollo Loco lady. My husband."

Hubby: "Who are you talking to?"

Me: "I'm trying to order dinner. Stop talking for a minute."

I was able to order my food and decided to apologize again to Pollo Loco lady when I got around to the window for my husband's sailor mouth and for her thinking I told her to stop talking. As I explained the situation to my hubby on the phone, he thought it was hysterical that he had embarrassed me. That only lasted for a few minutes though before he went back to cussing about the truck driver.

As I was pulling up to the window, I started trying to interrupt his monologue again when the phone started to cut out. Really, I couldn't have planned it better. The call dropped right as I reached the window (although hubby swears I hung up on him).

I heaved a sigh of relief when the call dropped just as I reached the window. I opened my mouth to apologize to Pollo Loco lady as she opened the window with an awkward smile. Unfortunately, I forgot one small detail. Now that the blue tooth call had dropped, the stereo kicked back in. Eminem returned full blast in up close concert volume. It was so loud without the road noise that my first response was to cover my ears instead of hitting the volume. The part of the song that was playing was full of particularly nasty words that I'm sure could be heard throughout the entire restaurant, while setting off every car alarm within one square mile.

I quickly recovered and nearly snapped off a finger trying to adjust the volume. Because hubby's sound system is so sensitive, you have to turn the knob about 200 times to actually get the volume to change significantly.

By the time I got Eminem under control, my face was beat red, and I didn't even want to look at Pollo Loco lady. But I had to get my food, so I glanced around. She looked every bit as shocked as I had imagined along with every single person working in the kitchen. They were all staring at me with the exact same look on their faces. I'm glad I couldn't see the people sitting inside eating and made a mental note not to look in the windows on my way past.

Neither one of us spoke as I paid and collected my food. I think I finally squeaked out a pathetic "Thank you," and rode home in silence. On the upside, when I told hubby what had happened, he was laughing so hard he forgot all about the bleeping trucker.

Fast Metabolism Diet - A Review

Having struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember, I have tried more diets, pills and weight loss gimmicks than I can shake a stick at. Nothing has worked long term. Over the years, I have probably gained and lost enough weight to make up an entire NFL football team.

As far as weird diets go, if you've heard of it, I've probably tried it at some point. The problem is, it's always a short term solution for me. In my mind, once I lost the weight, I could go back to how I was before, always promising myself I wouldn't gain the weight back.

After having my two kids by cesarean and my mother's cancer diagnosis, I ballooned up to the heaviest I had ever been. When I realized I was going to have to go shopping for clothes in a size I never imagined wearing, I decided to go low carb. And that worked for awhile, but as with all diets, I slowly drifted back to my old habits, and the weight began creeping back up. I have hypoglycemia (low blood sugar), so I have to eat every few hours which doesn't help.

Last fall, I joined a gym, but I still needed to do something about my diet. I decided to be more aggressive about my exercise and started the InsanityWorkout (follow up blogs one and two). I really started to get in shape, but I wasn't really losing weight. I needed to start eating healthier, so I started making little changes, but nothing seemed to work.

I happened to run across this book called The Fast Metabolism Diet: Eat More Foodand Lose Weight  by Haylie Pomroy. Of course I was immediately skeptical having been on a million of these diets, but she made a good case for the damage done to a person's metabolism from chronic dieting. So, I bought a used copy and thought I would check it out.

I liked that she based her findings on scientific research and what we know about how metabolisms work. Long term, low calorie diets can actually cause your body to think it's starving, and it will pack away everything you eat as fat even when you go back to eating more calories. It can permanently change your metabolism. Made sense.

She claims that you can lose 20 pounds in 28 days. Lots of diets make those claims, so I decided to try it more for the healthy aspect and not so much for that claim. The diet itself is packed with protein, whole grains, veggies, fruit, and healthy fats. There are three phases during the week, but the rotation is easy enough to follow after the second week. The best part, is she claimed that it could be adapted to be a lifestyle change that would keep your metabolism burning, so that even if you cheat, your metabolism will burn the extra calories and not store them as fat.

The results? I was shocked. I lost 5 pounds the first week, which isn't unusual for a new diet. The difference is that I felt really good physically. I have to eat 5 times a day (6 if I am up longer) which is great for my hypoglycemia. I wasn't hungry. I have no headaches, no shakes, no stomach aches, no energy crashes, and I feel better when I exercise.

Despite all of that, I really struggled the second week, and I blew it. I cheated...a lot. The third week, I had several lunch meetings with people, but I tried to stick to it the rest of the time. My weight fluctuated...a lot.

But I'm trying to see this as a lifestyle change, so I had to find what would work for me. I have finally found a good balance. I was giving myself a cheater day on Saturdays, so I went back to that which has cut down my cheating during the week. She's a little wacko about chemicals which is fine. She insists on no caffeine and soda, but I went back to drinking coffee and diet soda. For convenience sake, I made some of the recipes ahead of time and put them in the freezer. They tasted great!

This week, I have been sticking to it. I had my cheater day on Saturday, and I even went out to dinner with my hubby for our anniversary on Wednesday, and I still lost another 4 pounds this week. I'm starting to feel like I've found something I can stick to that is good for my body. Today, I bought the Fast Metabolism Diet Cookbook and pre-ordered the new one that is coming out in December. 

Virtual Sports Injuries - Xbox Kinect

We were given an XBox Kinect for Christmas, and like most people who watch the commercials, we thought it would be a great way to get the family up and moving around. It came with a dancing game and a couple of sports games.

We fired it up and put in the sports game. Now we had a party. My brother and I are very competitive, so we started with the tennis game. Like other gaming systems, for the Xbox Kinect to work, both people have to be standing in front of it. Probably not a good idea for tennis.

The first match went off without a hitch. We were both sweating and ready for round two. My brother swung for an overhead smash that caught the pull cord on the ceiling fan and sent it flying up into the fan where it was promptly cut off by said fan and sent hurdling across the room. We should have taken that as an omen.

In the last set, my brother was trying to return a vicious backhand from me. Unfortunately, his forehand had a blazing spin on it that not only went past my virtual character, but also caught me in the back nearly rupturing my kidney. We decided to take a break and let the kids play.

My kids started first and my daughter landed a wicked backhand that gave her brother a fat lip. Although, to his credit, he responded with a killer forehand that stayed in bounds and gave his sister a bruise on the shoulder.

We thought it might be best to change games, so we moved to virtual track. This time I talked my husband into playing. We started with hurdles. He had to sit down after he hurt his knee on the fake jump leaving me alone to start the javelin. I knew I had to give it my best shot, so I flung my virtual javelin for all it was worth, promptly spraining my shoulder. How does the even happen? I threw air!

We didn't do much better with the dance game, and before the night was over, we were all sweating and lining up for ibuprofen and ice packs. Who knew virtual sports could be so dangerous?

The Chocolate Bar I'd Kill For

Awhile ago, my friend, Shelbi, and I were visiting my sister. One night, they had invited some friends over for dinner. It wasn't long after Halloween, so after we ate, they brought out the left over candy bars, and we all started picking out our old favorites.

My brother-in-law is from Ireland, and his brother had just come back from England with some chocolate from there. I was surprised that the company names of the bars were familiar, but not the chocolate bars themselves. Why would companies like Nestle and Cadbury keep certain types of chocolate bars from us?

We took turns sampling the different candy bars, and they were very tasty. Then he brought out a Boost bar by Cadbury. I took one bite, and my hand gripped tighter around it as I chewed. Everyone else was talking about the other bars, but they hadn't yet tasted this little slice of heaven. I considered shoving the whole thing in my mouth, but Shelbi started looking at me and waving her hand for me to pass the Boost bar to her for a taste. I smiled and handed it over begrudgingly.

All it took was one bite, and she had the same desperate look that I did. "How can I hog this whole bar for myself?" By then, we were starting to draw attention from the rest of the group who noticed the introduction of the new candy bar. Shelbi was forced to pass it on, and we watched longingly as, one by one, the Boost bar infected each of us.

We all tried to play it cool, like it didn't matter if we were able to get a second bite. We kept talking a chatting pleasantly, but all eyes were on the Boost bar as it made the rounds. Everyone was secretly wondering if there was enough of the bar to make it around the table twice.

Then someone made the mistake of asking if there was another one. In slow motion, my brother-in-law said "Noooooooo." That was it. We all started to turn on each other. Monitoring how much each person bit off the bar. It got ugly. I wondered if I could snatch what was left and lick the whole thing before anyone could jump on me.

I was on one side of the table with my sister and Shelbi. I could probably get past my sister (she's small). Shelbi has back problems and can't run, but I would have to take her cane with me, so she couldn't hit me or hook me before I got out of range. Glancing around the table, I could tell by the looks on everyone's faces that they were also making their own Boost getaway plans.

When the last of the Boost bar was finally gone, it took the joy of the party with it. We all missed the Boost bar and knowing we couldn't get it here in the US only made it worse. All the chocolate in the middle of the table had lost its appeal.

But all is not lost! Thanks to the internet, Boost bars can be shipped right to my house! Ha ha Cadbury, your evil plan didn't work, or maybe it did...

My son wanted you all to know he did the picture for me. Yes, I'm officially old. I asked my kid to do something on the computer because I didn't know how. Hey, at least I can work the DVR. Usually.

Indie Artist Radio Station: 92.6 The Blitz

I love to share great indie news, and this is an awesome one. A good friend of mine and fellow indie author, Thomas Amo, has started an internet radio station to showcase indie artists as well as great music from the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s.

It’s called 92.6 The Blitz with DJ Tom Slick. Tom not only plays great music, but shares the latest in indie news including information about authors, musicians, and filmmakers.

The Blitz is not 24 hours yet. Tom Slick’s show, The Morning Brew, can be heard from 9:00am to 11:00am PST Monday through Friday. More programming is going to be added later including interviews and fun shows like Writer’s Playlist and Roadie Rage.

For more information, you can check out The Blitz blog. If you are interested in a shout out, advertising, or other questions or comments, send an email to 92.6theblitz@gmail.com. They’d love to hear from you!

Like them on Facebook! And don’t forget to send in your “mugshot!”

Real Life Romance

You all know I’m a sucker for romance, so imagine my delight when I learned a family member had a wonderful story to tell.

My dad’s brother was an amazing human being. He was a gigantic, fun loving man. I remember when he used to have me and my brother lock our hands over his biceps, and he’d lift us up and spin us while we laughed hysterically. His wife was a quiet woman who was deeply devoted to her faith and her family. They had three amazing children together and lived a wonderful life in Southern California.

Many years ago, my uncle had a heart attack. The paramedics were able to bring him back, but they believed he was dead for some time. At the hospital, they asked my aunt what she wanted to do. She was unable to sign the papers that would have taken him off life support. Oddly enough, he started to improve, and was taken off life support. He eventually woke up, but he was not the person he was before. The damage to his brain had left him childlike, including fits of aggression. My aunt brought him home and with the help of their kids, she took care of him until heart disease eventually took his life. After his passing, my aunt focused on her family, work, and church. 

I hadn’t seen my aunt in many years when she called me out of the blue the other day. She said it was on her heart to see my dad and wanted to know if she could visit. I told her we would love to see her. She said she was bringing her mother, and she had…met someone. I was so excited for her. Their story is amazing.

They were high school sweethearts before she met my uncle. They were deeply in love, but he left her to join the seminary. She was heart broken. Very recently, they met up again at their high school reunion. His wife had passed away last year. They started talking and decided to keep seeing each other.

They both looked so happy. It was wonderful to see my aunt smiling and blushing. He is a wonderful man. I really enjoyed talking to him, and my cousins like him as well. My aunt's mom cracked me up. She said that he could only break her daughter’s heart once. So she was giving him one more chance to make it right. I’m betting he will. I’m wishing them both a happily ever after!

If you have a romantic story, please share! I’d love to hear it.

Indie-Credible Authors Tour

Hi! Sorry I've been away. I got a fun email awhile ago inviting me to participate in the Indie-Credible Authors Tour that’s going to be running the month of September. I am so excited! This is modeled after the Authors Are Rockstars Tour. They have a fun list of writers compiled, and they’re now looking for bloggers to host their fave authors or meet new ones!

If you are interested, you can get more info and/or sign up on either

Creative Deeds Reads

OR

Little Read Riding Hood

They have a few author spots left, but you need to hurry! Hope to see you there!