The Next Big Thing: Where Will You Turn?

I recently read Sandcastles and Other Stories from the gifted mind of Justin Bog. I was blown away by this collection of short stories. It took me back to my college days; to my literature classes where I read creative tales penned by classic authors who challenged me to think outside the box. Yeah, it's that good. Of course I was interested in whatever he was going to write next. Imagine my surprise when he tagged me in his blog entitled "The Next Big Thing: Wake Me Up." I am truly honored. Thank you so much for thinking of me, Justin.

Since I recently published the second book in my urban fantasy/paranormal romance series, I was caught a little off guard with this blog. I have very little to go on for my third book, since I tend to be a "pantser." In the third installment of my Díon series; Raith and Mari are back to uncover the paranormal creatures behind the recent rash of human disappearances. Unfortunately, they suspect that corruption may not be limited to the human world. When the most powerful paranormal creatures sworn to protect humans become the hunters, where will you turn?

Here are the rules:

Answer the ten questions about your current WIP (Work In Progress)

Tag five other writers/bloggers and add their links so we can hop over and meet them, and link back to my page. Be sure to check out Justin's blog about his next big thing: Wake Me Up.

1.   What is the working title of your book?

Right now I'm calling it Book 3. My friend suggested Where Will You Turn? I know it can be good to have some kind of continuity with titles in a series, but that might be overdoing it a bit. I'll have to give it some thought.

2.   Where did the idea come for the book?

This book will follow the direction the series has taken. As for the original idea that started the whole thing? Honestly, I'm not sure. When I get bored, I come up with stories to entertain myself based on something around me. It could be as simple as a song on the radio or a person walking by who interests me.

3.   What genre does your book fall under?

Initially, I thought it was a paranormal romance. After doing some research, I think it may fall more in the urban fantasy genre. The romance is actually more of a sub plot. It isn't the focus of the book.

4.   Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition?

This was a tough one. I have been asked this question several times, so you'd think I would be prepared...lol. The problem is that I see my characters so clearly in my head that it is hard to "cast" them as someone else. So, I asked some of my readers for suggestions, and they came up with some great ideas.

 

Raith – Taylor Kinney	Mari - Rebecca Romijn Stamos
Reinn – Chris Hemsworth	Kylee – Emma Stone
Aileana – Charlize Theron	Deacon – Gerard Butler

 

 

5.  What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book? (Ok, so it's a gigantic sentence.) 

Raith, Mari and the rest of the team believe that the founding members the Díon, a group of paranormals sworn to protect people, may be behind a conspiracy to kidnap and sell humans to the creatures who feed on them; but can they stay alive long enough to prove it?

6.   Will your book be self published or represented by an agency?

Self published. I'm too much of a control freak.

7.   How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?

Since I haven't finished the first draft, I can't answer that one. Although I will say (based on the other books), I could probably write a book in about 3 months if I could write full time.

8.   What other books would you compare this story to in your genre?

I have been told by readers that my books remind them of the Sookie Stackhouse novels by Charlaine Harris; The Night Huntress Series by Jeaniene Frost; The Immortals After Dark Series by Kresely Cole, and the Lords of the Underworld series by Gena Showalter among others. Since those are some of my favorite authors/books, I was incredibly honored.

9.   Who or What inspired you to write this book?

My sister, my best friend, and I love paranormal romance/urban fantasy books. We were all talking about some of our favorite authors one night when I shared some of my story ideas with them. They inspired me (translation: hounded me) to write "Where Will You Run?" and the series has continued from there.

10.       What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest?

In my books, I use the existing lore from different countries/regions to develop my paranormal creatures/characters. There is so much information out there about monsters. I research each character I want to create and use the historical stories from the area the creature comes from to develop that character's powers, strengths, weaknesses, and even physical traits. I try to stay as true to the lore as possible, but sometimes I have to get creative to fill in the blanks. Readers may learn something new about the monsters that haunt their nightmares.

 

Here are the five authors I have nominated (mostly because I'm curious about what they are up to). Click on the name to go to the author's blog and click on the title or “here” links to check out their books.
 

Thomas Amo – Thomas writes in many different genres. Check out his recently YA release, Forever Me and his other books here.

Christina McKnight – Christina writes historical romance and urban fantasy. Check out her book on her Amazon author page Only in Her Dreams.

Ingrid Michaels – I’m a big fan of romance, so it’s no surprise I am curious to see what this romance author has in store next. Check out her books here and on her blog (plus awesome vegetarian recipes).

Dennis Sharpe - Dennis writes paranormal fiction, dark urban fantasy and poetry. Check out his books on his Amazon author page here.

Jean Booth – Jean is an awesome story teller. Check out her recently released novel Created and her other books on her blog.

 

 

Thank you for stopping by and happy writing!

 

 

 

 

 

YA Novel: Forever Me by Thomas Amo - Author Interview

I am very excited to finally have my good friend and fellow author, Thomas Amo, here on my blog for an interview. Thomas is incredibly generous when it comes to helping other authors and has been very instrumental in my own writing career; so I'm happy to have the chance to help him for a change.

Thomas is a genre hopper and has written everything from horror to comedy (check out his other books here). He just released his first YA novel called Forever Me available on Amazon for Kindle and Barnes and Noble for Nook. I was given the honor of beta reading this book, and even though I have been out of high school for a long time, some things never change. Thomas's vivid descriptions brought it all back - the pressure to fit in, wearing the right clothes, being the right weight, wearing the right makeup, etc. and the pain of bullying. Readers of all ages will find it easy to identify with the characters in this book. Here are the details:

Hannah Richards isn't your typical 16 year-old at Wichita Falls High. Fashion, trends, cosmetics and style are unimportant to her. An avid reader, guitar player, and classic movie and television buff, Hannah marches to the beat of her own drum. Visible only to her father, the town sheriff, and her two best friends, Lauren and Haylee, Hannah lives a simple, un-pampered life as an "Eastie."

After coming to the aide of Taylor Monroe, a popular member of the "Stilettos" at school, after a series of misunderstanding with her friends, Hannah is forced to re-invent herself. She quickly gets caught up in a life much different than the one she knows, where status, glamour, makeup, appearance and acceptance become her masters.

Can Hannah survive the lies, deceit, jealousy, and rage that are now waiting for her around every corner? Will she succumb to the pressures of popularity? Or will she be crushed under the heels of the "Stilettos"?

And now, my interview with Thomas Amo:

Q: You give credit for the genesis of this story to a segment you saw on television about a group of high school girls from Texas who decided to go one day a week without wearing any kind of makeup to show that girls don’t need it to be beautiful. Why did that story make such an impact on you?

A. I was truly encouraged by their willingness to go against what most girls at that age would never consider in the first place. I think girls get taught from an early age, that if they want to be popular and attractive, then they have to be a certain body weight, look a certain way. Makeup is usually the first rung on the ladder of social acceptance. Followed by the designer label and hairstyle. What name brand clothes is she going to wear? What's the name on her purse and sunglasses? Because the fashion world has a huge impact on girls. If you don't believe me, ask any teen girl what she's wearing, and you will most likely get a name as an answer instead of jeans and a t-shirt.

Naturally, girls want to be considered pretty or attractive to others besides their families. Taking the step to remove the makeup and just be the girl they are is a bold and brave step for a teen girl today. So it got me thinking about how all of those impact girls during those crucial high school years.

Q: Your previous books have been in the adult genre. What made you decide to try your hand at a YA book?

A. As I mentioned, the segment with the girls on TV really spoke to me, and I thought it was such a good subject to write about. I really wanted to experience the YA genre. It actually began as a screenplay for a production company. I wrote a quick draft and called a friend of mine who is a film producer and told him that I had a script idea to pitch to him. We arranged a meeting and, fortunately for me, he really liked it. So he encouraged me to write the screenplay. I got about 50 pages in and hit a brick wall. Suddenly, it just didn't feel right. I left it for a week or so and came back to it, and decided it really needed to be a novel first. Which was terrible timing because I was in the middle of writing the second installment of a trilogy. But, I called my friend, and said I can't write it as a screenplay right now, it feels like a novel. He told me to go for it, and to call him as soon as the novel was finished. Here we are nearly two years later.

Q: After reading Forever Me, I found that I could identify with many of the characters in the book even though I hadn’t been in high school for awhile. It seems like people stay the same even though the times change. Do you agree?

A. I do agree 100%. The faces change but the players remain the same. There will always be popular kids which usually seem to always go hand in hand with sports. Usually jocks and cheerleaders seem to always be on the top rung of the social hierarchy. The you will always have your nerds, stoners (aka burnouts). There are the Drama students, music students, and, thanks to shows like Glee, now singing is more popular than ever. Of course always bullies. Bullies sadly can come from virtually any clique. Usually though, jocks will pick on everyone who isn't another jock. If a smart kid who's not athletic joins a shop class like welding, mechanics, electrical, etc., he's going to be surrounded by two groups: jocks or stoners. For the jocks, it's an easy grade. For the stoners, it's going to be a vocation. most likely he's going to end up getting picked on by both groups. The teachers remain the same too. There's always the cool teachers and the ones who never see anything happen like a referee in big time wrestling. There's the teachers who really want to teach and then there are those who just want to survive. sometimes school can feel more like preson than it can an educational institution.

Q: As an adult male, what challenges did you face writing from the perspective of a teenage girl?

A. Danger Will Robinson! This is that question that has to be answered carefully. At first, I didn't give it any thought. I just approached it as I would any novel or character I planned to write. Having been a playwright for a decade, I wrote roles for certain actresses, so that helped a lot. So much dialogue helps you learn how people speak, and that's a great way to get insight on how they might be as people/characters. There did come a point though where I thought is anyone going to accept a YA novel written by a man from the perspective of a teenage girl? My good friend and fellow author, Michelle Muto, quickly pointed out to me, "Stephen King did it with his novel, Carrie." That was all the encouragement I needed. Besides, I wasn't going to write a novel that focused on menstruation. Plus, I had my wife and daughter to keep me on track with the developments of the girls in my novel. I did work hard to make it feel real all the time. Even though it's fiction, it was important to me that I would want a teen girl to pick this book up and say, "YES! That's me! That happened to me, or that character is just like me." I think there's never a question when a woman author writes male characters because we readily accept that women are in tune with the universe so much more than men are...but there does seem to be a pause when you see it's a man writing from a woman's perspective. And, if I pass, hopefully the assumption isn't "Oh he was spot on...he must be gay." I have had a wonderful female role model in my life with my mother. She is the strongest woman I've ever known; and, because of her, I've always been quick to regard women with admiration and respect. Check  any of my previous work, whether it be in my novels or plays for the stage. My female characters are always strong women. I don't reduce them to bimbos or battle axe stereotypes.

Q: You mention in your acknowledgements that writing the ending was very emotional for you and during that writing process, you were interrupted. How did you deal with that?

A. My Barbara Walters question. I won't go into the actual details because it's too personal. However, I was in the middle of writing the climax of the book, and I had just written a line that caught my breath, and I actually began to cry. I'd never experienced that before as a writer. While I was basking in that moment of euphoria, my phone rang and life did one3 of its nice little screw you moments. And I was like NO!!!! I can't stop now! Any writer will tell you when you're in the moment, if you get disturbed too long...you lose it and that feeling leaves you. It's very much a Jack Nicholson moment from The Shining, when he explains to his wife that when she interrupts him it breaks his concentration and then it will take him time to get back to where he was...of course this is described with four letter words and tearing of paper in a manic Jack style. If you've seen the film, you know what I'm talking about. So yeah, It kinda feels like that. (Thank you Jack and Stanley Kubrick.) Well, I was forced to leave my computer for over and houra nd a half...and I was filled with bitterness and anger because I knew I was close to the end. I came home and was so angry, I knew I would never get my muse back...I paced and actually said to myself "No, I'm not going to let circumstances take this away from me!" I forced myself to sit down and put my music on that I was writing the scene by and forced myself to let the anger go...which was NOT easy. And i was able to get back and finish, but it still hurt me deeply because I so loved writing this book, and I so wanted to know that bliss of how it might have been had I not been interrupted. But you can't go back, so I had to move on.

Q: High school can be so tough for kids. Besides being yourself, what other positive messages do you think YA readers will be able to get from you book?

A. I believe that people CAN change, for the better and for the worse. That while who your friends are can affect your life in so many ways, your friends, family, money, clothes, should never define who you are as a person! Also, I would hope that people get the message of bullying must never be tolerated! Bullying comes in so many forms. Even friends bully friends. If just is not even funny how some jocks will bully a weak kid (call it hazing), and that adults will shrug it off and same lame things like, "Hey, that's life." I remember a terrible incident where a mean kid bullied another until the other kid felt he had only one choice - either kill himself, or kill the bully. The school wouldn't help. The parent of the mean kid encouraged his son to be that way. So the victim shot and killed his tormentor. And sadly, everyone cried over the bully. The father actually had to the nerve to say, "Why couldn't this kid just take an ass beating? He didn't have to kill my son." There was the problem right there. The father believed it was fine for the other boy to be beaten and just take it. That mindset haunted me, and I just pray that students are able to find strength in numbers because sadly, all too often, adults thing ignoring it will make it go away. High school years, while only being four of them, can sometimes be no different than four years of prison.

A big thank you to Thomas Amo for stopping by! Connect with Thomas on Twitter @AuthorThomasAmo, Facebook, and check out his blog here!

When Empires Fall - Katie Jennings

WHEN EMPIRES FALL

FREE eBook Promotion and Birthday Bash Blog Tour!

 

In celebration of her quarter-life crisis, Katie Jennings is running a one day only FREE eBook Promo for her latest release, When Empires Fall! Click the cover image below to download the FREE eBook from Amazon, or click HERE!

 

 

What people are saying about When Empires Fall…

“A modern day epic in the tradition of Gone With The Wind… Infused with deception, lust, murder and romance, Jennings creates a magnificent family saga not to be missed.” -J.L. Firestone, author

 

“Exhilarating and fresh… Jennings masterfully weaves an intricate web of deception and lies…When Empires Fall is not as much a story about the rich as it is a story about human character.” -Cristian Mihai, author/blogger

 

“Wow! This word doesn’t even capture the writing ability of Jennings…gifted with character development to rival the New York Times best-sellers…Jennings tantalizes her readers at every chapter and scene break. Her characters are addictive.” -Bestselling Author Carolyn Arnold

 

Synopsis…

Some rise by sin, and some by virtue fall…

 

In America, kings are not born, they are made.  Men with ambition build their own empires and it is their heirs who carry the torch of tradition, generation by generation. 

 

The Vasser Hotel Empire rose out of the ashes of an Industrial era, cementing itself in the very heart of America’s greatest city, New York.  Through the drive and courage of one man, a legacy was born that would last more than a hundred years.

 

That is, until word got out that one of their own was murdered. 

 

Sixty years of lies will come crashing down in flames of treachery and blood, and the truth will send shockwaves through an entire nation.  Now the newest generation of Vasser heirs will have to deal with the consequences, or else allow their legacy to burn to the ground.

 

But dark secrets are buried deep within the family itself, and everyone has an agenda.  Love of family and forbidden passion will set off sparks in a powder keg ready to annihilate the empire, but it may also be the only thing keeping them whole.

 

When reputation is everything, it will take all they’ve got to save themselves from their own undoing..

Book Trailer…

 

 

But Wait…There’s More!

Also in celebration of both her birthday and the FREE promotion, Katie is unveiling the book cover and teaser trailer for the highly anticipated sequel to When Empires Fall…

 

Here is

Rise of the Notorious

Coming Spring 2013

 

 

Synopsis:

 

Finish, good lady; the bright day is done, and we are for the dark.

 

When their empire fell, darkness descended upon the Vasser Hotel family and shrouded them in chaos.  It was a darkness layered in violent sins and staggering deception, made only more potent by a haunting truth.  Murder, it seemed, was a burden they couldn’t escape.

 

With a scandal plaguing the family’s reputation, the Vasser heirs must rise to the occasion and utilize a killer’s advice to turn bad publicity into good, and tradition into innovation.

 

If only it was that easy.

 

In an elaborate game of hidden motives and sinister agendas, more dirty truths from the past will resurface, truths that could bring about victory or bloodshed.  But how will the Vasser siblings react when the real threat to their family not only has power and control on the mind, but assassination as well?  What will they do when it becomes clear that someone out there wants them destroyed, no matter the price?

 

The Vassers may have fallen from grace, but now they will rise as notorious.

 

About Katie Jennings…

 

 

Nothing can compare to the exhilaration of discovering, at last, a mode of release for the imagination. Mine came, after years of struggling to visualize my creativity, in the form of written word. I found myself with my nose constantly in a book, absorbing the life of the characters and the beauty of the setting. It was intoxicating, to say the least, and the only thing I knew was that I wanted to give writing a shot, and take the thousands of characters and storylines in my head and put them down on paper, and form them into something real and compelling.

 

In truth, I'm just a girl from a small town north of Los Angeles, with an imagination for days and thank goodness a keyboard at my fingertips. And even though my husband thinks I'm a nerd and my mom is undoubtedly my biggest fan, at the end of the day I'm loving life and enjoying giving breath to the characters living in my heart, and sharing with others all the creativity I can harness.

 

I believe in true love, and I've always believed in happy endings. And that is just the beginning of the story.

Connect with Katie…

 

Official Author Website

 

Facebook

 

 Twitter

 

Blog

 

 Amazon Author Page

How to End a Relationship with a Kiwi

I loved visiting my grandparents when I was growing up, but we could only go for a weekend every few months since they lived four hours away. When I was in my teens and early twenties, I realized I didn't have to wait for my parents to go visit. Since I was working, I could buy a train ticket and my grandparents would pick me up at the station.

My grandparents loved these visits as did my grandmother's sister. She and my grandmother decided that since I was visiting more often, they might set me up with one of the nice young men at church there. They picked an older man who had his own house and had a good job in the oil fields. He was quite a catch in their eyes. He seemed nice enough, so we started seeing each other when we could, trying the long distance relationship thing. After a month or so, I had come down with my parents for a visit because they wanted to meet him.

When he came over, Papa said that he wanted to go to a local field and "glean" kiwis. It had taken me all morning to get ready, and I had no intention of spending the afternoon clod hopping around in a field getting all dirty for left over kiwis. My mother informed me otherwise using my first and middle name to let me know that I would indeed be gleaning kiwis with Papa whether I liked it or not. New boyfriend decided to play peacekeeper and volunteered to go along. The three of us piled into my grandfather's pickup and headed to the kiwi field. Papa was very crippled with arthritis by this time in his life, so new boyfriend and I helped him through the soft dirt to a fence post he could hold on to. I took my bag and went ahead picking up kiwis and muttering to myself leaving Papa and NB to fend for themselves.

Papa loved to play tricks on people and decided to have a little fun. He secretly talked NB into throwing a kiwi at me. Now we hadn't been dating that long, so Papa knew two things NB didn't. First, I played women's softball and could throw like a man. Second, I had a bad temper (like my mother and grandmother).

When I felt a sting in the middle of my back and saw the kiwi on the ground, I spun around to see NB playfully throwing a kiwi in the air with a victorious grin on his face. Papa stood nearby looking innocent. My eyes narrowed, and I threw the kiwi I was holding with all my strength. Now, I want to interject here in my defense. A kiwi is not a softball and doesn't necessarily go where you aim it. As luck would have it, NB got hit in the crotch with a 100 mile an hour kiwi. He double over in the dirt coughing and groaning.

Papa, of course, was laughing so hard I thought we were going to have to carry him out of the field. He decided we had enough kiwis, and I had to help both of them back to the truck. The only sound on that trip home was Papa's non-stop laughter. He kept wiping his eyes with his handkerchief.  Oddly enough, the relationship with NB didn't last. Go figure.

Flash Fiction Friday - The Prisoner

Welcome to my first Flash Fiction Friday! For those of you who follow my blog, you know that I entertain myself by making up stories when I'm bored. I see movie-type scenes in my head, and I write down what I see. The problem is, I only write down the scenes that pertain to my books, or whatever I think may lead to longer stories. There are a lot of scenes in my head that never go anywhere. They are just individual snapshots. I used to think that every scene in my head would eventually lead to something bigger. Then I started reading some flash fiction pieces, and it occurred to me that maybe a single scene is the only part of a particular story that I am going to get. Maybe that is the story. So now, instead of wasting those scenes, I will start writing them down and sharing them when they come to me. Maybe they will lead to something more; maybe not.

One of the rules of flash fiction is that the story has to have a beginning, a middle, and an end. I'm not really known for following rules when it comes to writing, so my stories may not be wrapped up so neat and tidy. It's more like flash fiction my way. Hope you enjoy it :)

The Prisoner

The door slammed behind her. Even though she was ready for it, it always made her jump. Her arms jerked, sloshing some of the water out of the bucket. The splash caused the man to move his head in her direction. She held her breath. The dirty rags that covered his eyes prevented him from seeing her, but somehow he kept his head pointed in her direction as she moved. She swallowed hard and started towards him.

Moving closer, she stifled the cry that clawed its way up her throat. He must have put up a fight. That always made them mad. It's only this bad when they're angry. He didn't cooperate and that meant scars. She sighed looking at his naked body chained to the wall. His muscles tense. He didn't trust her. He didn't trust anyone right now, and she couldn't blame him. Setting her bucket down, she tried to keep her mind focused on the task ahead. The chains rattled to life as he lunged towards her, causing her to scream before she could stop herself. She fought to stay silent and to keep her balance on the blood soaked cement. He froze.

"You're a woman?" he asked, his voice a ragged whisper. She dared not speak. They might hear, and she didn't want to make them mad. Bad things happened when they got angry. No talk, just work. She dipped her rag in the bucket and picked up the small bar of soap, silently lathering it up.

"Answer me!" he rasped louder. She jumped up, cupping her hand over his swollen mouth and whispering into his ear, "Shhhhh." Turning his head towards her voice, he pressed his cheek against hers. The prisoner moved his head up and down, scratching her with his stubble, but she didn't pull away. A slow smile spread across his face, causing the cut on his lower lip to open and bleed again.

"What's your name?" he asked quietly.

"Don't talk," she whispered.

She took the soapy rag and got down on her knees. He jerked when she touched his foot, making the chains rattle. Lightly touching the back of his calf, she tenderly kneaded the hard muscle until she felt him relax. Then wiping the blood off his legs with the rag, she dumped a little water out of the bucket to rinse them, so she could keep the rest of the water clean. Slowly working her way up both of his legs, she made sure to clean any wounds along the way, taking care not to press too hard on damaged flesh.

She wouldn't cry. She couldn't. This was just another day, and she was going to do what was necessary to survive. Rinsing the rag again, she paused before starting on his torso. This was going to be harder; seemed like they took great delight in bruising his organs. After that initial jerk of his foot, he had stayed completely still, but he sucked in a audible breath when she washed the left side of his ribs. Squeezing her eyes shut, she felt the tears she buried deep inside fighting their way out. She cursed their captors and tried to focus on the day she would be free of this hell hole.

Another rinse of the well-worn rag, and she started on his face. The swelling pushed against the tattered material around his eyes. Still, he was handsome under the blood and bruising. His body and will were still strong . . . for now. She hung her head, knowing that, over time, they would break him. They always did, turning strong men into shells of their former selves. Once they got what they wanted from him, he would be tossed into a hole and forgotten. If he were lucky, he would die, but most weren't that lucky.

Something about him pulled at her heart. She blinked away the tears and set the rag aside. Picking up the bucket, she used the rest of the clean water to rinse him. He leaned towards her, straining against the chains.

"Thank you," he smiled. She tried not to smile back. No one had ever thanked her before. She cast a fearful glance over her shoulder at the door. Feelings were not something she could afford here. She picked up the small portion of food they had given her to feed him.

"You're welcome," she whispered quickly. "Now eat."

"No," he said.

"You have to eat." She looked nervously at the door again.

"Darlin', I'm not going to cooperate with them, or help them keep me alive any longer than I have to."

"I'm trying to help you," she desperately pleaded . Not eating would make them angry.

"If you want to help, take off this blindfold, so I can see you," he grinned.

"Listen to me. You have to survive. Do whatever you have to do to stay alive." She grabbed the sides of his face.

"Why?" he asked. "So they can torture me longer? No thank you."

She checked the door again before moving closer to him. "What if I told you I had a plan?" she whispered in his ear.

He stayed silent for a long time; so long she started to think she had made a mistake. He finally turned towards her.

"How do I know you aren't working with them to get information from me? Pretending to be an ally to get me to confide in you? A woman would be the perfect choice."

She walked quietly towards the cell door, peering out the small window - all clear. Moving back towards him, she pressed her body against his. He tensed as she leaned in and kissed him softly.

"You're just going to have to trust me," she sighed against his swollen lips. "I'm going to get us out of here. I swear. Now eat."

She grabbed the bowl and scooped up a spoonful of the rotten mush. When she held it up, he hesitated briefly before opening his mouth. Dumping the gruel in, she watched him chew painfully and swallow. He sighed and opened his mouth for more. Smiling, she refilled the spoon.

Horny Goat Weed

Since I’ve been going to the gym with the kids, I decided to start taking better care of myself including focusing on my nutrition. I read an article that said that even when people live in sunny areas, they can still have a vitamin D deficiency. I live in California, so I never really worried about that. However, I am glow in the dark white, so I wear sunscreen which blocks the much needed vitamin D from getting into my skin. They also suggested that digestive enzymes might help with the breakdown and absorption of minerals. Enzyme and calcium production decrease with age, so off I went to the local drug store.

I got to Rite Aid and headed straight for the vitamin section. I didn’t get a cart because I was only going to grab a few bottles. I was surprised to see the items I wanted were on sale – 2 for 1! That never happens to me (should have been my first clue). I was able to find the calcium and vitamin D, but I couldn’t find the enzymes. I decided to look for them on the bottom shelf where they keep all the weird stuff. Then a bright red bottle caught my eye.

Horny Goat Weed! Nature’s Aphrodisiac! I couldn't stop laughing because nothing says sexy and hot like a horny goat. Of course I got out my camera and took this picture sending it off to Facebook with some smart remark.

After adding in the calcium and the 2 for 1 deals, I wound up having more than I intended to carry. I decided to ask for help to find the enzymes and happened to see a small hand held basket. I happily dumped my armload of supplements inside and was able to find the enzymes.

I headed up to the checkout counter with my haul and set the basket down. The girl pulled out the calcium, then the vitamin D, then the Horny Goat Weed…WHAT??!! Yeah, in all the commotion of trying to find the enzymes, I had dumped the bottle of Horny Goat Weed in my basket instead of putting it back on the shelf.

My eyes bugged out, and I got so freaked out I totally beat boxed the poor girl. “Ba…ah…uh…cha…but….” I finally pulled it together enough to tell her that I had taken a pic for Facebook as a joke.

“So you don’t want it?”

“NOOOOO!”

I haven’t been that red since I got sunburned in Mexico. I couldn’t even look her in the eye. I grabbed my bag and ran out to my car because I’m smooth like that. I almost insisted on showing her the Facebook post. Good thing I didn’t because it never uploaded. Of course.

So now you know. If you need Horny Goat Weed, it’s on the bottom shelf at Rite Aid.